If your Valentine’s Day plans are less “candlelit dinners and long-stemmed roses” and more “puns, fart jokes, and a Big Mouth marathon,” we’ve got some cards for you.
We hope you love the products we recommend! All of them were independently selected by our editors. Just so you know, BuzzFeed may collect a share of sales or other compensation from the links on this page if you decide to shop from them. Oh, and FYI — prices are accurate and items in stock as of time of publication.
A punny card for the wordplay lover in your life (or the bee lover in your life! We’re not here to judge what you do in your free time).
A card that speaks the truth about what truly holds every long-term relationship together.
A card for couples who know that when it comes to love, the intention is more important than the execution.
A sweet (literally) card that celebrates the two things all the best relationships run on: gratitude and pastries.
A Friends card, because you love how your Valentine doesn’t like it when people eat food off their plate.
A doggone cute card that lets your love know you’d like them better if they had four legs and a tail, but they’re still alright in your book.
A card for those who know that the couple who WhatsApps together, stays together.
A Euphoria card, so you can celebrate the Rue to your Jules.
A card for your home’s designated bug-mover-awayer.
A card that shows that your love is truly for real.
A charming crustacean card, because your romance began by the sea (or over a shrimp platter).
A card for couples who are otterly smitten with each other.
A card that truly gets at the essence of romantic commitment.
A Tiger King card, because of your love that was forged over Netflix marathon viewings.
An unidentified fantastic card for the friend who is going to spend their Valentine’s Day (and every other day) watching the skies.
A card that says your love can survive anything — even 2020.
A straightforward card, so you can celebrate that your relationship survived this cohabitation rite of passage (the interior is blank, in case you need to write out a detailed apology for how you acted while putting together that couch).
An anatomically charming card for the medical professional who has won your heart (and lungs, and other internal organs).
A card that gets straight to the point.
An app-related card, so you can celebrate the swipe that made you finally stop swiping.
A sarcastic card, because you’re just not too sentimental about V-Day (plus, it comes with stickers to personalize the interior and envelope!)
A Schitt’s Creek card for your Valentine who has excellent taste in TV.
A card that combines your two passions: your partner and pizza.
A card for the work friend who makes all those Zoom meetings bearable (by messaging you off-color jokes the entire time, natch).
A creepy card, so you can wish a spooky St. Valentine’s to the loved one who always helps you get in touch with your inner Sanderson sister.
A card that immortalizes that first Valentine’s Day together, when you’re like, “Wait, should I even get a card? Did you do that? Are we doing that??”
A card for your friend most likely to rock double-denim.
A card that acknowledges that love is all about shared interests (like avoiding everyone else…together).
A totally honest card, so you can let your love know that you truly are a hopeless romantic.
A card for the person you actually spend your workday with.
A card that proves that love solves everything (except snoring, you need to buy those little nose strips for that).
A Rihanna card so your loved one can know that your love shines bright like a diamond (but also, you do NOT have the money for a diamond, so they better be happy with this).
A card that conveys your interest in slamming your body down and winding it all around, as it were.
A card for the couple whose love language is sarcasm.
A Queer Eye card that will help you say, “this relationship is absolutely shamazing.”
A card for couples where the Forensic Files is the third person in your relationship.
A card featuring Big Mouth‘s Hormone Monstress, because declarations of love are even better when you imagine Maya Rudolph saying them.
A cartoon sea monster card, so you can celebrate the fact that your love, like the mystical kraken, is rare, unstoppable, and has only ever been seen by old-timey pirates (okay, maybe the last one isn’t relevant for your specific relationship).
A card for the friend who can always make you laugh (even when you’re getting kicked out of a bridal shop in Flushing, Queens).
A card that shows the lengths you’re willing to go to for love.
An extremely serious and dignified card, for reflecting on the many elements that make a great long-term commitment.
A cartoon dog card, because any message is better if it is communicated via cartoon dog.
A card that shows that relationships are all about balance.
Which card will you choo-choo-choose for your Valentine?
Find the perfect gift for any occasion, from white elephant gift exchanges to gifts for teachers, housewarming gifts to birthday gifts, and even the perfect gift basket if you’re truly stumped. Plus, check out the BuzzFeed gift guide for even more incredible gifting ideas.
What’s your favorite product?
Need A Shopping Buddy?
Get great products – from pros in the fine art of buying stuff online – delivered to your inbox!