If your Valentine’s Day plans are less “candlelit dinners and long-stemmed roses” and more “puns, fart jokes, and a Big Mouth marathon,” we’ve got some cards for you.
We hope you love the products we recommend! All of them were independently selected by our editors. Just so you know, BuzzFeed may collect a share of sales or other compensation from the links on this page if you decide to shop from them. Oh, and FYI — prices are accurate and items in stock as of time of publication.
2.
A punny card for the wordplay lover in your life (or the bee lover in your life! We’re not here to judge what you do in your free time).
hole in my pocket on Etsy
Hole In My Pocket is an Etsy shop founded in 2010 and based in Glasgow, UK that specializes in “Making excited children out of the most serious of adults.”
Promising review: “So stinkin’ cute! Glad it is blank on the inside, plan to write a lot in this card! Arrived on time, good quality, ADORABLE print, I love it.” —Gabbyevans1223
Get it from Hole In My Pocket on Etsy for $4.23+ (available with or without customized message printed inside)
3.
A card that speaks the truth about what truly holds every long-term relationship together.
CardCraftUS on Etsy
Card Craft US is an Etsy shop founded in 2019 and based in Portland, OR that “believes in the power of connection.”
Promising review: “Loved my experience with this shop! So many great designs, I especially liked the quarantine-themed cards and found it so hard to choose which ones I wanted to send to my friends! I also really appreciated the message I received letting me know my order was on the way, along with a photo of my items going in the envelope. Fantastic cards, fantastic shop. Thank you!” —Alina
Get it from Card Craft US on Etsy for $6.97 (available blank or with custom message handwritten inside)
4.
A card for couples who know that when it comes to love, the intention is more important than the execution.
Amazon
Promising review: “Super cute. He loved this card!” —Cherie S.
Get it from Amazon for $4.97
5.
A sweet (literally) card that celebrates the two things all the best relationships run on: gratitude and pastries.
nicolemariepaperie on Etsy
Nicole Marie Paperie is an Etsy shop founded in 2013 and based in New York City that specializes in greeting cards and paper goods made with TLC.
Promising review: “Super cute! Nice quality, as well.” —Madi Bigelow
Get it from Nicole Marie Paperie on Etsy for $3.01
6.
A Friends card, because you love how your Valentine doesn’t like it when people eat food off their plate.
CatBoneDesign on Etsy
Cat Bone Design is an Etsy shop founded in 2018 and based in Omaha, NE that’s all about “bringing happiness and joy through design!”
Promising review: “Got this card for my sister for Valentines Day. We are the biggest Friends fans and she loved it!” —Katie Figgins
Get it from Cat Bone Design on Etsy fot $6+ (available with or without tracking, and in 20 envelope colors)
7.
A doggone cute card that lets your love know you’d like them better if they had four legs and a tail, but they’re still alright in your book.
StudioFirebaugh on Etsy
Studio Firebaugh is an Etsy shop founded in 2014 and based in El Sobrante, California that specializes in “whimsically illustrated greeting cards, custom pet portraits, and silliness galore.”
Promising review: “Love this card, can’t wait to give it to my husband.”—Audrey
Get it from Studio Firebaugh on Etsy for $4
8.
A card for those who know that the couple who WhatsApps together, stays together.
Amazon
Promising review: “Bought this for my fiancee, who lives in the Philippines. We usually only get to talk through online means and she loved it.” —Chester S. DeBerry
Get it from Amazon for $5
9.
A Euphoria card, so you can celebrate the Rue to your Jules.
Hollaback Cards on Etsy
Hollaback Cards is an Etsy shop founded in 2014 and based in Miami, Florida that makes pop-culture based cards, mugs, and more.
Promising review: “Great purchase, came quickly!” —Gina
Get it from by Hollaback Cards on Etsy for $6.50
10.
A card for your home’s designated bug-mover-awayer.
Amazon
Promising review: “I received exactly as ordered. The card was packaged extremely well in its own plastic jacket. Old-style envelope, which was a distinct unique touch to the card. It came unblemished in pristine condition and packaged well. Will order similar cards again!” —Fuga
Get it from Amazon for $5.88
11.
A card that shows that your love is truly for real.
Amazon
Promising review: “I feel silly writing a review for a card. But it was a funny card and got a good laugh. Paper quality was nice and so was the envelope it came with.” —D. Yasment
Get it from Amazon for $3.67
12.
A charming crustacean card, because your romance began by the sea (or over a shrimp platter).
Amazon
Promising review: “Super cute! Great quality too!” —Delaney
Get it from Amazon for $5.99
13.
A card for couples who are otterly smitten with each other.
amazon.com
Promising review: “This was otteriffic. My husband loved this card so much. I love gifting things that my love hasn’t seen before. Now he calls me his otter and I love it.” —Ashley
Get it from Amazon for $4.50
14.
A card that truly gets at the essence of romantic commitment.
Amazon
Get it from Amazon for $3.99
15.
A Tiger King card, because of your love that was forged over Netflix marathon viewings.
Amazon
Promising review: “Very nicely made card. Thick paper and nice envelope.” —Tracy Gerlach
Get it from Amazon for $5.88
16.
An unidentified fantastic card for the friend who is going to spend their Valentine’s Day (and every other day) watching the skies.
ShaylynBerlew on Etsy
Shaylyn Berlew is an Etsy shop founded in 2019 and based in Philadelphia, PA that creates offbeat cards, stickers, prints, and more.
Promising review: “Very cute! Love the colors.” —Britt Johnson
Get it from Shaylyn Berlew on Etsy for $4.95+ (available in sets of one or three cards)
17.
A card that says your love can survive anything — even 2020.
forhonestpeople on Etsy
For Honest People is an Etsy shop founded in 2015 and based in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma that specializes in “Honest cards.”
Promising review: “Great quality, very happy with it!” —Ashley Diane
Get it from For Honest People on Etsy for $4.75
18.
A straightforward card, so you can celebrate that your relationship survived this cohabitation rite of passage (the interior is blank, in case you need to write out a detailed apology for how you acted while putting together that couch).
PaperStuffandCo on Etsy
Paper Stuff and Co is an Etsy shop founded in 2017 and based in Jersey City, NJ that makes cards, stickers, magnets, and other fun stuff.
Promising review: “Very cute card and fast shipping.” —Stella
Get it from Paper Stuff and Co on Etsy for $5
19.
An anatomically charming card for the medical professional who has won your heart (and lungs, and other internal organs).
PaperMummyCo on Etsy
Paper Mummy Co is an Etsy shop founded in 2016 and based in Placentia, California that wants to “help someone feel better today” through stationery and gifts.
Promising review: “The card was a hit! Thank you! Great quality.” —Jan Goldforth
Get it from Paper Mummy Co on Etsy for $3.50
20.
A card that gets straight to the point.
Amazon
Promising review: “She couldn’t stop laughing. Great delivery.” —Edward
Get it from Amazon for $9.55
21.
An app-related card, so you can celebrate the swipe that made you finally stop swiping.
ACouplePuns on Etsy
A Couple Puns is an Etsy shop founded in 2017 and based in Jacksonville, FL that makes “The punniest cards ever!”
Promising review: “I love my little punny Valentine’s card! It’s perfect.” —Nicole Steinbach
Get it from A Couple Puns on Etsy for $3.75
22.
A sarcastic card, because you’re just not too sentimental about V-Day (plus, it comes with stickers to personalize the interior and envelope!)
Amazon
Promising review: “This card is hilarious! Well-made, and it even came with stickers! I will be back to purchase more!” —Monica
Get it from Amazon for $4.49
23.
A Schitt’s Creek card for your Valentine who has excellent taste in TV.
PaigeByDesigns on Etsy
Paige By Designs is an Etsy shop founded in 2015 and based in Buffalo, NY that makes cards, paper goods, banners, and more.
Promising review: “This card looks EXACTLY as pictured on great quality paper. My partner and I are huge Schitt’s Creek fans, and he loved receiving this on Valentine’s Day!” —Rashad Gober
Get it from Paige By Designs on Etsy for $7.87
24.
A card that combines your two passions: your partner and pizza.
Amazon
Promising review: “I love the play on words … my go to choice for my pizza lover friend for Valentine’s Day. Will definitely be buying more of these cards from Wunderkid.” —Sonnystuff
Get it from Amazon for $8.95
25.
A card for the work friend who makes all those Zoom meetings bearable (by messaging you off-color jokes the entire time, natch).
Amazon
Promising review: “Funny card, packaged well.” —Customer
Get it from Amazon for $3.59
26.
A creepy card, so you can wish a spooky St. Valentine’s to the loved one who always helps you get in touch with your inner Sanderson sister.
TheCraftyBurrEato on Etsy
The Crafty Burr Eato is an Etsy shop founded in 2014 and based in Coventry, UK run by a “spooky Little Disney Goth sharing her Greetings cards.”
Promising review: “Really good quality card, will definitely be buying more from this seller.” —Denise Lee
Get it from The Crafty Burr Eato on Etsy for $5.92
27.
A card that immortalizes that first Valentine’s Day together, when you’re like, “Wait, should I even get a card? Did you do that? Are we doing that??”
KatFrenchDesign on Etsy
Kat French Design is an Etsy shop founded in 2014 and based in Dallas, TX that makes “positively fun paper goods.”
Promising review: “The card is absolutely adorable, the packaging and service was perfect. Thank you!” —Thielens K
Get it from Kat French Design on Etsy for $5
28.
A card for your friend most likely to rock double-denim.
Hollaback Cards on Etsy
Hollaback Cards is an Etsy shop founded in 2014 and based in Miami, FL that specializes in pop-culture-based cards and mugs.
Promising review: “I love Hollaback Cards! I first found her on Instagram, great content, and I knew I had to support! Will 100% be purchasing from her again!!” —Erica
Get it from Hollaback Cards on Etsy for $6.50
29.
A card that acknowledges that love is all about shared interests (like avoiding everyone else…together).
SadShop on Etsy
Sad Shop is an Etsy shop founded in 2011 and based in Seattle, WA that wants you to “Share your feelings and change the world!”
Promising review: “Such adorable and thoughtfully created cards! Received these very promptly even with the holiday rush!” —betty jarvis
Get it from Sad Shop on Etsy for $5
30.
A totally honest card, so you can let your love know that you truly are a hopeless romantic.
SpaceQueenCo on Etsy
Space Queen Co is an Etsy shop founded in 2017 and based in DeLand Highlands, Florida that is a “cosmic crafter creating out of this world gifts & more!”
Promising review: “Great quality and fast shipment!!! Thank you!!” —Laura Martinez
Get it from Space Queen Co on Etsy for $5 (available in 10 envelop colors)
31.
A card for the person you actually spend your workday with.
theadventurecorner on Etsy
The Adventure Corner is an Etsy shop founded in 2018 and based in Denver, CO that makes handcrafted candles and cards.
Promising review: “Perfect. Very fast shipping. Excellent seller.” —thill4880
Get it from The Adventure Corner on Etsy for $3.50
32.
A card that proves that love solves everything (except snoring, you need to buy those little nose strips for that).
Amazon
Promising review: “It’s bigger than a standard card, which was great for leaving a nice, long note inside. Very sturdy and good quality, and he got a big kick out of the front. Be careful that you use a quick dry pen, because the inside is glossy and it will smear!” —Amazon customer
Get it from Amazon for $5.99
33.
A Rihanna card so your loved one can know that your love shines bright like a diamond (but also, you do NOT have the money for a diamond, so they better be happy with this).
kokocards on Etsy
Koko Cards is an Etsy shop founded in 2016 and based in Toronto, Canada that’s all about “Spread greeting cards, not germs.”
Promising review: “Kokocards is amazing! Love the original artwork, which makes giving these cards to friends way more personal.” —safiadhanji
Get it from Koko Cards on Etsy for $5.71
34.
A card that conveys your interest in slamming your body down and winding it all around, as it were.
PorkChopUk on Etsy
Pork Chop UK is an Etsy shop founded in 2015 that makes illustrated greeting cards for all occasions.
Promising review: “I ordered several card designs from PorkChop UK. The owner even designed a special birthday card for me. So creative and easy to work with. I definitely recommend ordering from PorkChop UK and I will definitely be reordering.” —Louise Sagor
Get it from Pork Chop UK on Etsy for $5.15
35.
A card for the couple whose love language is sarcasm.
etsy.com
Squidge Face Cards is an Etsy shop founded in 2016 and based in Leiston, United Kingdom that creates “cheeky cards for all occasions.”
Promising review: “Loved it.” —Nichole
Get it from Squidge Face Cards on Etsy for $3.85
36.
A Queer Eye card that will help you say, “this relationship is absolutely shamazing.”
Foggish on Etsy
Foggish is an Etsy shop founded in 2017 and based in London, UK that makes funny cards and colorful gifts.
Promising review: “Such a cute card, very well made! Made it just in time for Valentine’s Day!” —Halley
Get it from Foggish on Etsy for $4.48
37.
A card for couples where the Forensic Files is the third person in your relationship.
Amazon
Promising review: “My husband hates long mushy cards, he’s more of a jokester, so this card was perfect for him. He laughed when he read it. I recommend this.” —Charity
Get it from Amazon for $4.25
38.
A card featuring Big Mouth‘s Hormone Monstress, because declarations of love are even better when you imagine Maya Rudolph saying them.
PenAndMeow on Etsy
Pen And Meow is an Etsy shop founded in 2016 and based in Los Angeles, CA that creates “cute, quirky, handmade greeting cards and gifts.”
Promising review: “Really amazing card and packaged with a lot of love and care!” —satyrsong22
Get it from Pen And Meow on Etsy for $3.60
39.
A cartoon sea monster card, so you can celebrate the fact that your love, like the mystical kraken, is rare, unstoppable, and has only ever been seen by old-timey pirates (okay, maybe the last one isn’t relevant for your specific relationship).
Amazon
Promising review: “This is the second card I have ordered from Tinybeecards in a month!! Great quality and super cute!! My husband is a legit pirate and I am his siren, this card is perfect for him!!! I will only purchase cards from Tinybeecards from now on!!!” —Jennifer Zehr
Get it from Amazon for $4.50
40.
A card for the friend who can always make you laugh (even when you’re getting kicked out of a bridal shop in Flushing, Queens).
PAPERbyBrandi on Etsy
PAPER by Brandi is an Etsy shop founded in 2017 and based in Greensboro, North Carolina that specializes in pins, earrings, cards, ornaments, and fun pop-culture products.
Promising review: I would buy from this seller again. Shipping was very quick.” —jenny dimick
Get it from PAPER by Brandi on Etsy for $4
41.
A card that shows the lengths you’re willing to go to for love.
42.
An extremely serious and dignified card, for reflecting on the many elements that make a great long-term commitment.
Amazon
Promising review: “Just what I was looking for. Came with a lovely red envelope. Pen wrote smoothly on the card. No complaints here.” —ilean
Get it from Amazon for $5.88
43.
A cartoon dog card, because any message is better if it is communicated via cartoon dog.
Amazon
Promising review: “Very cute card, nice quality card stock & envelope. Would purchase again.” —NicatNite
Get it from Amazon for $5.88
44.
A card that shows that relationships are all about balance.
Amazon
Promising review: “I love buying cards for my husband that make him laugh, and this was such a good one. Perfect to give for an anniversary or when celebrating something. The envelope is so beautiful and the card is bigger than your standard greeting card.” —Dannay Rodriguez
Get it from Amazon for $5.88
Which card will you choo-choo-choose for your Valentine?
20th Television / Via giphy.com
The reviews for this post have been edited for length and clarity.
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